Money on my mind5/1/2023 ![]() In his book, Five Steps to Forgiveness, clinical psychologist Everett Worthington Jr. This reduces the power of bad events to create bitterness and resentment, say Michael McCullough and Robert Emmons, happiness researchers who edited The Psychology of Happiness. One way to curtail these kinds of feelings is to foster forgiveness. Holding a grudge and nursing grievances can affect physical as well as mental health, according to a rapidly growing body of research. Happiness Strategy #3: Foster Forgiveness This shifts people away from bitterness and despair, he says, and promotes happiness. In his book, Authentic Happiness, University of Pennsylvania psychologist Martin Seligman encourages readers to perform a daily "gratitude exercise." It involves listing a few things that make them grateful. Happiness Strategy #2: Cultivate Gratitude Psychologists who study happiness tend to agree on ones like these. Once you've decided to be happier, you can choose strategies for achieving happiness. So they may learn to shut up their inner lawyer and stop building these cases against people." For example, when someone crosses you, in your mind you build a case against that person, but that's very damaging to relationships. They may learn to identify negative thoughts so they can challenge them. ![]() "They may choose to be more forgiving or more grateful. "They have to say exactly what technique they will use," says Haidt, a professor at the University of Virginia, in Charlottesville. He actually assigns his students to make themselves happier during the semester. Jon Haidt, author of The Happiness Hypothesis, teaches positive psychology. Happiness also depends on how we manage our emotions and our relationships with others. In short, we may be born with a happiness "set point," as Lykken calls it, but we are not stuck there. The persons who become the happiest and grow the most are those who also make truth and their own personal growth primary values." Choose to be in environments and around people that increase your probability of happiness. ![]() Learn good self-management skills, good interpersonal skills, and good career-related skills. For example, reprogram your beliefs and values. "Choose to take advantage of opportunities to learn how to be happy. "Choose to make happiness a top goal," Stevens tells WebMD. Stevens, PhD, titled his book with the bold assertion, You Can Choose to Be Happy. "It's the decision to consciously choose attitudes and behaviors that lead to happiness over unhappiness." "Intention is the active desire and commitment to be happy," they write. The intention to be happy is the first of The 9 Choices of Happy People listed by authors Rick Foster and Greg Hicks in their book of the same name. ![]() Today, psychologists who study happiness heartily agree. Happiness must be, for most men and women, an achievement rather than a gift of the gods, and in this achievement, effort, both inward and outward, must play a great part." In his book, The Conquest of Happiness, published in 1930, the philosopher Bertrand Russell had this to say: "Happiness is not, except in very rare cases, something that drops into the mouth, like a ripe fruit. The first step, however, is to make a conscious choice to boost your happiness. Happiness Strategy # 1: Don't Worry, Choose Happy And we can foster positive emotions, such as empathy, serenity, and especially gratitude. We can do this by thwarting negative emotions such as pessimism, resentment, and anger. Lykken, author of Happiness: Its Nature and Nurture, says that "trying to be happier is like trying to be taller." We each have a "happiness set point," he argues, and move away from it only slightly.Īnd yet, psychologists who study happiness - including Lykken - believe we can pursue happiness. Research has shown that your talent for happiness is, to a large degree, determined by your genes. How? In part, by simply making the effort to monitor the workings of your mind. You can chase down that elusive butterfly and get it to sit on your shoulder. With all due respect to the author of Walden, that just isn't so, according to a growing number of psychologists. A popular greeting card attributes this quote to Henry David Thoreau: "Happiness is like a butterfly: the more you chase it, the more it will elude you, but if you turn your attention to other things, it will come and sit softly on your shoulder."
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